19 October 2012

A Day in the Life of The Twitter Activists

You may or may not be aware of the Activist Socialist Party/Revolutionary Communalist Party/Red Chili Peppers/whatever they're called now. If not, Lissy Number has kindly documented their Twitter Empire, and a small bit of code twits regular summaries of whatever it is they're on about. It's easy to dismiss them as a "cult", because they pretty much are, but they also manage to have this bizarre self-sustaining momentum despite not having any real specific ideas. Like this sci-fi story I once read where someone wrote a constitution for a local sewing circle and it took over the world.

Generally, their jokes look like this: And their serious statements look like this: and occasionally get either rather mean-spirited: or descend into a full-on intersectional clusterfuck: They also do artwork but it's usually not very good and they only really publish it in theory now.

Anyway, they have a leader. He's on Twitter if you don't believe me. They also have an anarchy-themed account, which is brilliant. I reckon everything you need to know you can learn from the Radcal Anarchist feed. Bear in mind that, although I'm going to be drawing conclusions from indivudual tweets, the Activists are pretty repetitive and most of these have come up with slightly different wording at least fifteen times each.

Firstly, they seem to be having an internal struggle with three main factions. Most urgently dangerous is the faction among the anarchists who think anarchy is "horizontal" or "leaderless" or involves "consensus-based democracy" or whatever. Oh yeah, this leader demands DISCIPLINE. Not that kind of discipline though. You see, the second mutinous faction is the ones who want to have interesting sex: The ones they really hate though, the ones they're constantly battling with, are the ones who want to take drugs, get drunk and have some kind of fun or other alongside the serious business of activisting: Apart from this barrier obviously: NO FUN.

Bear in mind they do have an effective and sympathetic treatment centre for those who are struggling with addiction. But of course, you know what so-called "anarchists" always say whenever you tell them freedom doesn't include any actual fun, especially if you mention dancing. Of course, some up-their-own-arse elitists will always try to argue about what this or that socialist or anarchist or philosopher "meant" or "said" or "consistently emphasised throughout their writing", and they'll tell you to "actually read the fucking book" or to "at least get a primer or something" or "even listen to the fucking In Our Time podcast with Melvin fucking Bragg of all people" but you can't go paying attention to these paid quislings. Ok, bear in mind the same stuff keeps coming up, so this same squabble must be going on all the bloody time.

Clearly if The Leader of the Activist Socialist People's Front of the Revolutionary Revolutionist Party is going to fight those who act in the interests/pay of the capitalist boss class, he needs a comeback. He has two in fact. "Reformist": and, for something a little more serious, "traitor": And we all know what happens when the great all-seeing eye falls upon traitors right? Right?

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