04 September 2010

William Hague? Really Chris?

A few things spring to mind about the William Hague gay thing.

Firstly, looks-wise, if William Hague is gay with Christopher Myers, he's punching way above his weight, and it's the really other guy who should be making embarrassed denials.

Secondly, he'd have to be a fairly fucking stupid gay. I know, if I was in his gay shoes (and they'd be amazing shoes, because I'd be a gay), the last thing I'd do while trying to conceal my gay affair with a younger man from my female, vagina-having wife, is book a shared room with him. Book a double and a single, say you need the double for your bad back or some such shite. Cheese-on-toast man, you're a politician. A Tory politician no less. You should know how to have an affair.

Finally: again with the gay jokes? I've wondered before, but, with a couple of notable and silly exceptions, why can we not get our head around two men
  • being fond of
  • sleeping in a room with
  • spending more than ten minutes that don't involve drinking, punching or casual misogyny with
each other without assuming anal penetration? We let girls saunter off to the fucking toilet together without assuming one's going to end up on her knees, but if two men so much as hug with insufficient back-slapping, we expect they'll both crack a semi-on. I can almost get that we, as a society, can understand sweaty bareback man-love better than emotionally intimate, platonic man-love. But is tight-fisted, pragmatic man-room-sharing really that hard to grasp?

Edit: I have to confess, I once shared a room with another heterosexual man. For well over a month. To save money. Didn't get so much as a hand-job.


  1. this is the only pertinent thing I have read on Hague and Gayland. Nice work!

  2. I've thought a bit about this, so I'm going to rant a little on your blog because it's out of the way, and because I seem to be anonymous (ish) thanks to Google.

    I've heard gay rumours about Hague since he was in the Welsh Office. I've never known what to make of them. Hague is of the generation which I hope would be 'out' if there were any truth. Could they be a plant by elements (for want of a more appropriate word) in the Conservative Party who think he may go "off-message" and want to threaten him? Is this all a diversion from Coulson?

    *IF* Hague is gay, I really think that Ffion knows. She's supposed to be a smart woman. And I think that bi-sexuality is fairly common. I don't believe that marital "faithfulness" suits everybody for life. I don't believe that "infidelity" proves dishonesty.

    As for punching above his weight, I think it's the other way around. Hague is Foreign Secretary. He goes about in a chauffeur driven bullet-proof car. How many people can offer that? And, while I'm not an admirer, Hague is bright, and bright is sexy.

  3. I need to become Foreign Secretary.

  4. I know, if I was in his gay shoes (and they'd be amazing shoes, because I'd be a gay)

    Only if you were a twink. Bears don't give a shit.

  5. Given that I'm built like a lego-brick shithouse and have never quite managed to grow a proper beard, I'm pretty sure I would have amazing shoes.

    Besides, I have it on good authority that bears frequently do give a shit, especially in the woods.

  6. girls do go to the toilet together it is true. Sometimes one does end up on her knees, but it tends to be to puke, while her friend holds her hair back out of the spray tenderly. Manlove and Womanlove have many many more aspects than the sexing, Alex, you are so right.