07 June 2010

Shouting About Sex

Inspired by a twitter thingy, I thought I'd put a few thoughts down on shouting/talking about sex.
  • If you talk, people may talk back. If you shout, people pretend not to hear. Shouting minimises the risk of reply, engagement and conversation. Caribbean slaves would shout secret or subversive messages to each other, and be told off for form, not content.
  • If you're not doing it, thinking about sex can be quite frustrating. Talking, and then shouting about sex, externalises and escapes the frustration. This is why those who do it least talk about it most.
  • Talking about sex stops you thinking about sex. Shouting about sex is how you avoid talking about sex, and falling into conversations that will make you think about sex again.
  • Of the things that come with sexual relationships - kisses, cuddles, foreplay, physical and emotional intimacy, fucking - it usually hurts least to go without the last one. Or at least it's an itch you can scratch on your own. This is why only the most misjudged and sadistic porn films show kissing.
  • Thinking/talking/shouting about sex is a reflexive way to avoid thinking/talking/shouting about the other things you may be missing out on. Shouting about sex is rarely just shouting about sex.
  • It's easier to tackle difficult subjects indirectly. Shouting about sex is an indirect way of talking about relationships. 'Fucking' may well mean 'making love'. 'Felching' may mean 'kissing' and 'anal fisting' may mean 'absent-minded caresses'. 'Sex' is a euphemism for 'being intimate together'.
  • If you're not having sex, you're limited to shouting about the sex you're not having. It's far less painful to shout about the sex you don't want to be having anyway. This is why that guy makes all those jokes about bestiality, rape and skullfucking and why straight men pretend-flirt.
  • Talking about sex no-one wants to hear about is a massive conversation-killer. Sometimes the conversation turns to sex you don't want to hear about if you're not doing it yourself. Sometimes the conversation needs a bullet right between the eyes.
  • Sex and sexuality are a major part of how modern Western society communicates. Like with sex dreams, shouting about sex usually involves shouting a whole load of metaphors for things that are nothing to do with sex. Talking openly about sex is a great way to avoid talking openly about sex.
  • Shouting about sex is a fascinating exercise in translation.

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